Monday, February 16, 2009
Wedding, Draft 1
Earlier this morning, large white posts with platforms connecting them were placed near my home. I woke up to the sunlight being blocked by what looks like a large white clothe. There are colorful flowers everywhere, but not they're not growing out of the ground. A gathering of some sort seems to be starting. I have seen these giants walking around before, but never this many at a time. Suddenly, all the giants, except for a few standing in front of these rows posts with platforms, stood in front of a platform. This was so odd, I, being the curious lady bug that I am, needed a closer look. I decided to fly up and take a peak at this gathering, and landed on the shoulder of the giant walking towards the other giants that were standing. I believe it was a female, she had long, yellowish hay sprouting out of her hair, that was fashioned into spirals that I decided to crawl onto. Her skin was covered by white clothe; she must have done business with my friend the silk worm. As she walked, I spotted a water droplet dripping for her eye, that had lots of colored dirt around it! When she stopped, she was standing in front of what I thought was a man, wearing black clothe, and another man, who was facing the rest of the giants. They all bent their knees and placed their behinds on the platforms. The man facing out began to speak. I crawled down to the woman's hand, and I saw another hand reach for it. I retreated back up her arm, as the man placed a shiny ring on one of her fingers. A few minutes later, the man and women, who seemed to be mates, walked back the way the woman had come, while the other giants took their behinds off the platforms and put their hands together to make slapping sounds. The mates began to run, making my ride a little bumpy! They headed toward a long, black box, which was sitting on two with large circles. As the man opened the side of the box, the women entered it, and the man followed and closed the box. I felt myself moving, and decided I need to get out of this moving box. I crawled up onto the woman's nose, and as she squeaked, she opened a portal to the outside and I made my escape! The other giants were still clapping.
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1 comment:
This seems like it is targeted at a young audience, perhaps a children's story. Will your second draft have the same tone? I would consider keeping it the same.
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